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Identity Parade (c) 2003 Comedy People Ltd
(A series of four, quick visual routines which work via repetition )
1. LOC: INT. DAY. POLICE STATION
WE SEE A POLICE "LINE-UP" ROOM - WHITE WALL BACKGROUND WITH HORIZONTAL BLACK
LINES.
A POLICE OFFICER AND WITNESS WALK ALONG A LINE OF SUSPECTS
THEY PASS A TALL, DARK MAN.
WITNESS
No.
THEY WALK PAST A SHORT, BLOND MAN.
WITNESS
No.
THEY WALK PAST AN ELDERLY SCOTSMAN IN A KILT
WITNESS
Not sure…
OFFICER
Take your time…
THEY WALK PAST A MAN DRESSED AS THE DAVID BOWIE CHARACTER 'ZIGGY STARDUST'
WITNESS
No…
2
LOC: INT. DAY. POLICE STATION
THE POLICE OFFICER AND WITNESS CONTINUE TO WALK ALONG A LINE OF SUSPECTS
THEY PASS A TALL, BLACK HEAVYWEIGHT BOXER IN BIG BAGGY BOXING SHORTS.
WITNESS
Mmmm… No.
THEY WALK PAST A "LONG JOHN SILVER" PIRATE.
WITNESS
No.
THEY WALK PAST ABRAHAM LINCOLN.
WITNESS
Not sure…
3.
LOC: INT. DAY. POLICE STATION
THE POLICE OFFICER AND WITNESS CONTINUE TO WALK ALONG A LINE OF SUSPECTS
THEY PASS THE VIRGIN MARY (CLUTCHING THE BABY JESUS).
WITNESS
Mmmm… No.
THE LOWER HALF OF A MAN ON STILTS.
WITNESS
No…
OFFICER
Take your time…
A SNOWMAN…
WITNESS
No.
A PANTOMIME HORSE
WITNESS
Mmm.. No
4.
LOC: INT. DAY. POLICE STATION
THE POLICE OFFICER AND WITNESS CONTINUE TO WALK ALONG A LINE OF SUSPECTS
THEY PASS A STUFFED BEAR
WITNESS
Mmmm… No.
ONE OF 'DR WHO'S' DALEKS
WITNESS
No…
OFFICER
Take your time…
MICHAELANGELO 'S DAVID
WITNESS
Mmm… No.
A PULSATING HUMAN BRAIN IN A JAR, STANDING ON A TALL STOOL.
WITNESS
Mmm.. No
THE ELEPHANT MAN
(Pause)
WITNESS
I think he was taller…